Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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