i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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