so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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