Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
