He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
