Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
