I am puke
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
