Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
