my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
