I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
