Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
