I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
