he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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