sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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