and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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