if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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