Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
50% drunk capacity currently
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize