covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
