How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
