true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
