what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
