i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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