What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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