I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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