My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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