exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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