i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i now understand why vodka
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
