im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
