remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
