got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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