Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
