I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
