This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
