We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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