Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
