My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
