When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize