You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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