Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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