This is not my ceiling
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize