I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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