hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think I am morally bankrupt
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
