on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
