I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
