is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
