She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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