im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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