i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
