I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
