Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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