some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
