Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
