Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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