Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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