He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
