Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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