He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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