He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
