OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize