It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
