She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
