You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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