I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Can I color on your dick again?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
