I think i peed on brittanys purse
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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